Stories

Sometimes people don’t misinterpret what you say…they just reinterpret what you said…they tell a story…about what was said or done or not done…and we people of the human race love our stories. They are not lies…not to the person telling the story anyway…they are just repeating the event in sort of a…parable…you know…like Jesus told parables…only…not really. We use stories to make us feel good…. to look good...to gain allies….Jesus stories were to illustrate truth.

There is this fear that people will not totally get how badly we have been wronged if we just repeat exactly what was said or done …. so we parableize...no that's not actually a word. Don’t get me wrong…we do have the facts to back our story…just not always in the best context… and we even add our “knowledge” of the real intent of what was said or done. We say things like “I just know”… as though we are truly mind and heart readers. And the problem with these stories is that they can bind us up...they can actually put our own life on a sort of pause......keep us ineffective until we let the story go.
Sometimes people have a story so fixed in their minds that even the facts, no matter how well presented, will not change what they are saying. They believe it…it’s a kind of faith…a substance or an evidence of things not seen.…only…not really
And we all know it’s not an easy thing to just up and decide to let go of a story we have been telling. After all , think of the personal adjustments we have had to make to keep the story alive and believable…and if we have told enough people...we have supporters…a sympathy team…believers…it would be hard to let them down now. And, not only that, but the sympathizers have been getting pretty juiced on the story themselves and have probably repeated it, with a few alterations and additions of their own.
The feelings associated with our stories are powerful and the entire process of storytelling has a tremendous emotional pay off…sympathy for sure, perhaps some superiority, and maybe even a little martyrdom. But stories...parables of partial truths...will not bring us what we are looking for…true peace….joy...lasting happiness…dreams fulfilled.
Its not that the event didn't happen to us or that the words were not spoken or that the deed was done or that something was not done. And it is certainly not that we were not hurt.  Its the story that we make up about it that is not a reliable reflection of what actually took place. We are not mind or heart readers. We don't really know why anyone does anything....but we make up great stories. And for many, holding on to their story is not serving them well in life. Play a bigger game...create a story thats worth living.
Free yourself...forgive...forget...end the story.

Snapshots

I was going through the line at Zoë’s Kitchen in Baton Rouge today when I saw a familiar face. I did one of those double takes and then I thought there is no way that could be him. But it was, Patrick Dempsey, better know as McDreamy, on the popular TV series. Grey’s Anatomy. I went over to talk to him…he was in shorts, a t-shirt, and had a little stubble…he smiled, shook my hand, and said "thank you so much" when I complimented his show.

It was the way he said thank you that I have remembered. It was as though it was the first time anyone had said that to him in awhile. But we know that he must hear it everyday. And yet, he still made the effort to make me feel like it really meant something to him…who knows maybe it still does....even after hearing it hundreds of times...One thing I know, if only for a split second, one that I am sure he has already forgotten…this mega media star, in the middle of a crowded restaurant, was totally present...with me.

Being present with people is a wonderful thing that gets lost when we are too self focused, too in need of attention for ourselves, and when we are simply not in the moment with the person right in front of us.

I don't know anything about Mr Dempsey. I don't know about his personal life. Nothing. I only have a short mental snapshot of him...and its a pretty good one. Sometimes that's all you get...just one shot to make a difference..to walk away from someone having made their day better. It made me wonder what snap shots I've been leaving lately.

Thanks Mr Dempsey