Off the Hook

I have a friend who exhibits many of the godly attributes that I would like to attain. One is the easy way he forgives. Once there was something between us that I had caused. I called him and ask for his forgiveness. He was so gentle with his words. There was no I forgive you "but" used or implied. His forgiveness was so instant that it already seemed past tense. I knew that he had allowed me to be totally "off the hook." On that day I realized that God's forgiveness is just like that. He gives it easily and it is so instant that it is always past tense! God never has to decide if He is going to forgive us. That was done over 2000 years ago on the cross where all my sins were crucified with Him. Our sins have been (past tense) forgiven.

Imagine if in all our relationships that forgiveness was so instant…so complete that the supposed wrongs were simply not allowed to exist. What if we carried no grudges, didn't allow ourselves to exist in regrets, believed there were no justifiable resentments and let everyone, including ourselves, “off the hook”…instantly. Seems improbable and even impossible.

Jesus was asked if we should forgive someone seven times. His reply was “No we should forgive them “seventy times seven”. Lets face it. Most of us struggle enough with forgiving the first time. The second time is really tough and that’s reserved for those we really really care about. I don’t think the third one occurs very often and according to Jesus, when it comes to totally letting people "off the hook", we have 487 more forgiveness-es to go!

Sometimes we carry the poisons of resentment and unforgiveness because we simply do not want to let the person who has offended us "off the hook". And these poisons weaken us. While trying in this vain attempt to punish the other person we limit joy and peace from being fully expressed in our lives.

Don't confuse forgiveness with responsible living. We forgive a thief but we don't allow them access to the cash register until they have shown that they are no longer a thief. We forgive an abuser but we don't allow ourselves or our families to be in situations or locations where bad things could happen. And at the same time, don't we shouldn't try to replace forgiveness with simply living responsibly while carrying loads of resentment in our heart. Forgiveness sets us free!

Forgive easily…no "buts"...remove the poison....forgive instantly... release your joy...allow someone to be “off the hook”.

Letting Yourself "Off the Hook"

I once wrote most of the note below to a friend..someone who doesn't think that highly of themselves and who I happen to think is amazing. I wanted to remind them that loving yourself is essential to being able to really love the people in our lives. As I was reading this today I thought about how many of us struggle with this same thing.

 

It seems that this world is a difficult place to "love yourself". To allow this kind of thinking you must work against a current of words and thoughts that want to take you in a completely different direction.

I was thinking about Jesus words "love your neighbor as yourself". I am learning that you cannot give what you do not posess and how loving yourself really does increase your capacity to love others.

Also, you know how you set yourself free when you let go of resentments that you have for others? I have found that the same is true when I let go of resentments for myself...for things I have done or choices I have made. I have learned that embracing my life...my entire life...owning it...being thankful for it...these things are essential steps toward learning to love me. The me God created.

When you let go of resentments that you have held against yourself you essentially have let yourself "off the hook" and in so doing you free yourself up to love, forgive, and accept yourself and those around you in a much greater capacity.

You are an amazing and lovable person...let yourself off the hook and open the door to a new realm of loving.

Daisy

Hi Daisy,

Welcome to our little world.  I saw one of your first pictures today. It was your first of many I'm sure. This is a pretty long trip so its okay to get lots of pictures. I wanted to write you a quick note and tell you just how excited we all are that you are here.  

I was thinking of all the things I would like to tell you about this life that you have begun. I thought long and hard and decided that if I could help you understand this one thing that the rest of your journey would be immeasurably more peaceful. Its something so many have forgotten and an absolute must for a new little Daisy. It's about rain.

When it rains...play in it!

Mess

There is a palm tree beside the pool. It’s tall and beautiful and it does one thing I do not like. It drops all these little flowers in the pool every time there is any wind. When I go out and see all that mess in the pool I have to get it out. It just does not look right…it just looks messy.

The other day I went out to the pool and sure enough it was cluttered with the stuff from the palm tree. I got the net, cleaned it all out, and the pool was beautiful. I got in, swam around a bit, and then got on one of those great floats that, when you lay on them, will submerge just below the surface of the water so you can stay cool.

I’m sure you have already figured out what occurs next. Just as I got real comfortable on that float a big wind came up and the little flowers begin to fall…almost like snow. They covered the pool and me.

I sat for a while looking up at that tree and thinking about what had just happened. I realized that Palm tree is doing exactly what it is suppose to do. There is nothing wrong here. I got this same revelation awhile back about a Pecan tree that loses its limbs at inopportune times and they fall on inconvenient (for me) places.

However, my revelation this time was a little different. Here it is:

Sometimes…when you are doing exactly what you are suppose to do…to those that do not understand your purpose…it just looks like a big mess in the pool!

Biscuits

Those who know my mom have probably had her marvelous biscuits but you may not know about the best ones she ever made.

I was entering the 6th grade. Things were tough financially so we had moved into a farmhouse in East Texas. It was a year of eating lots of beans. Dad had to work long hours on a low paying job. So low paying that he taught me how to hunt, kill and clean rabbits and squirrels for our meat. I should probably add here that I have never even once thought of ever doing those things again. Meat comes to me in packages the way God intended.

The farmhouse had a fireplace in the living room where all five of us kids slept on the really cold nights. It was my job to have enough firewood cut and ready for those cold nights. And there were times when I did not bring in enough. Mom would send me back out in the middle of the night to get more if we ran out. I would take my dog, my flashlight, and my axe and go try to find a fallen tree that I could cut up. The cold was brutal. I remember one particularly cold night when I had such a hard time finding enough wood. I was so cold and so tired when I finally had enough and was able to lay back down. The next morning I woke up to the smell of Mom's biscuits. Mom had made biscuits from water and flour and she had made syrup with sugar and water. Maybe my best meal ever.

Now when I think about how she survived those days…. scratching meals together…chasing snakes off the back porch…coming face to face with a half-breed bobcat on the same porch…all the pressures and demands that came with 5 children, an angry and disillusioned husband, and we never missed a meal.

Two weeks before Mom left for heaven I had called her and told her that I would be at her house every Tuesday morning at 7:30 for breakfast. The next Tuesday she made a big pan of her wonderful biscuits. She invited my sisters over…it was a great morning. The next Sunday she got dressed for church but instead went into the hospital. I got to talk with her after she was checked into the emergency room. She looked so good. She was excited about the coming Tuesday. I told her she did not have to go all out every Tuesday...she said "Okay" but I knew she would anyway. We talked that day about how God is our friend.. She said "He is...He really is my friend." Then they came to take her for some test. I would never hear her sweet loving voice again…there would be no more Tuesdays. I know that God gave me one last breakfast with my Mom…one last really good conversation in the ER…He was paving the way for me to handle what was coming.

I visited her the next Wednesday night. She did not look good. I went home very unsettled. I told my wife “she will not be coming home.” And I spent some time in a deep sadness. I didn’t know why I felt that way but now I know it was God again preparing me.

The next morning I went by to see her before I went to work. But instead of a visit I was suddenly standing by her bed…telling her I loved her…I know she could hear me…her heart was slowly giving up…my sisters and other family rushed to be with us…we sang to her…her breathing heavy…and then…she left for heaven. I stood by her bed for a long time…I held her lifeless hand…it was amazingly soft…I thought of all the things those hands had done for me…I don’t remember ever having held my moms hand…maybe they were always busy… I miss her this morning…I’m so glad she feels no more pain…but I want to talk to her today… sadness has settled over me…I want to have biscuits with her…this friend of God.

Dive

Last night I was standing by the pool…it was late…a nice breeze was blowing. I decided I wanted to get in the water but I hesitated at the edge. I knew it was going to be a cold rush and I really didn’t want to go through that whole cold thing that happens when you first get in the water. But instead of letting myself dwell on the idea of how cold it was going to be…I dove…and it was cold. I swam fast to other end of the pool turned around and swam back and by the time I reached for the edge I was not cold anymore. As a matter of fact the water felt amazing. The sky looked all cool with clouds passing over the moon…the breeze felt even better…and the water was great!

I thought about how many of the really good things in life require a dive. We want to experience the best there is but sometimes we stand at the edge too long while we try to sort through things…can we risk losing what we do have…then we talk ourselves out of it. We go back and sit down where we are warm and comfortable. All we can do at this point is dream about the possibilities…wonder what might have been…but we know we have settled for less. We hesitated so we could try to set up the perfect plan…to reduce the discomfort…but the perfect plan was going with your instincts…leaping into the unknown…experiencing the cold…and then suddenly realizing that the very elements you feared have changed and are working for you!

Get up…walk over to the edge…believe there is more…and…dive.

Be The Tree

There is a tree that I walk by every morning. It is there everyday. Standing tall. Doing exactly what it is suppose to do. It has really gnarly and beautiful branches all twisted together. Its arms lift high in praise as they reach for the life of the sun. Roots’ go deep as they search for and receive the nutrients it needs for life. It is so faithful to just do and be what it was created to do…everyday. No matter the winds, the rain, the cold or heat, no matter if people notice or just walk by, it stands tall, does what it was created to do…everyday. I want to be like the tree.

Flying

I am only scratching the surface of what is available to me. There are infinite possibilities that are before me and I am limited only by my faith…by my willingness to consider new possibilities…to step into new ways of thinking.

Once when Jesus and His disciples were taking a boat across the sea a storm came up. It was a really frightening storm and the disciples were beginning to fear for their lives. However, Jesus, their leader, the miracle worker, was asleep in the boat. They woke Him up and said “Master we are about to die! Don’t you care?” He said to them “Don’t you have any faith?”

Sounds like a conversation I have had with God. “God, don’t you care” and He says “Don’t you have any faith”. It also sounds like many situations in life where I have “woke Him up” so to speak and demanded that He save me when all the while He is thinking “You can handle this storm…you can maneuver this boat…you are not going to die…you can do this…I have given you the wisdom and the power to handle situations like this… even to speak peace into a storm.



With this picture in my mind I have begun to approach each days challenges with more courage. I am letting go of every single preconceived idea of God and of myself. And I find that as I am walking and I do not grow weary, I am running and I do not faint, I am mounting up with wings as an eagle. I’m flying

Shine

My mornings continue to be extraordinary. As I run I allow my heart and mind to move into new places where I experience more of God. I am recognizing Him in more places. He is Omni-present so He is in everything and yet He is everything. He displays millions of expressions of Himself everyday through every living thing. I am one of those expressions of God. He has ask me to be salt and bring flavor to the world, to be and to release the brilliant colors of life that are available through Him and He made me to be light, so He very intentionally places me in moments of darkness and brokenness and says “Shine”.

Rain

I had worked late and my enthusiasm was low about doing my morning run. I started thinking maybe I shouldn’t do it. I was going to be working another 12 hour day and would need my strength. I knew the truth though. Go run and get your blood running and charge into this day instead of dragging through the morning.


As soon as I made that decision I heard thunder. Now I had a really good reason to not go. I looked outside and it was not raining yet. Knowing how rain moves all around us here in Texas I decided to go for it. I could probably do my entire run before it started.

I put on my running shoes and walked outside into the cool morning and knew I had made the right decision.

About that time the first raindrops began to greet me…one more chance to go back into the warm house. Instead I took off determined to do my four miles…and the rain came down. Big fat Texas rain. I looked straight up in the sky...the big drops crashing all around me...and I ran.

I thought about how I talk about rain. My words are usually about what rain is going to prevent me from doing or how it is going to interrupt my plans. Although, like most people, I enjoy a good rain when I’m sitting under a covered patio with a cup of coffee in my hands and nowhere I need to be. But most of my conversation about rain is negative. As though rain is not supposed to happen or that rain is a bad thing.

My experience on this morning could be a good one or a bad one and it all depended on one thing…the story that I would tell myself about rain.

So I let the rain hit my face and thanked God for how great it felt on my skin. There was a tremedous freedom that came with running into rain and allowing it to just soak me...and realizing that I had been missing this wonderful experience. Why do we grow up and forget how much fun it is to get wet? When did getting wet become an inconvenience?

I create my own realities. Everything, every situation, every event, even every person in my life is, for me, the story I tell myself about them. Which like the rain…my thoughts are not reality…they are not the entire story…they are just the ones I’m choosing to express at the moment. I can go from exasperating frustration to peaceful appreciation by simply by my choice of words.

What a great morning!

Big Yellow Miracles

Recently my two-year-old granddaughter was outside with me. We live right across the street from a high school and many school busses go back and forth from the school everyday. They are very loud and can hold you up if you are trying to get in or out of the neighborhood. Every time one went by she got so excited and would say in barely intelligible words “Big School Bus!” After about a dozen times I said “Yea a school bus!” She looked at me and gently corrected me” BIG School Bus”. I got it.


The Bigness of the School bus was the thing. It was down right amazing to a little two year old. It never occurred to her that they were too loud. Of course they were loud. They’re huge! They’re not an inconvenience. They’re a freaking yellow miracle rolling down the street!

I had to ask my self this question. “When did I forget that a big huge yellow school bus was a pretty amazing thing to see?” I had been seeing them everyday and missed that they actually had a beauty…a coolness…and amazing factor.

What is really phenomenal about this is that my brain reacts to whatever thoughts I feed it and my entire being is affected. My countenance, my attitude and my energy are dictated by the words I am choosing to think and say.

I am in total control of this process. I can change how I feel, about anything, by changing what I think about it. I can go from exasperating frustration to peaceful appreciation by simply changing my words…about anything…even big school buses.

Now I might decide I really don’t want to live where the school buses run every morning and that’s okay. But I can’t see them now without smiling because my story about school buses has forever changed. “Big School Bus!!!!

Morning Dancer

I’ve become quite the morning dancer. I’m out before sun up and moving with the wind. It is most powerful. I have found myself entering a completely new place with creation, the heavens…God. My images of Him, even though they were very big and powerful, I have found to be limiting. He is greater than my most incredible imaginations. So I run…stretch…reach…run sideways…run backwards…I even spin around to the music…its like flying…and it has become my morning dance with God.

Things Break


It was early morning and I was out on the deck looking up at the big pecan tree. I was noticing where several big limbs had broken and fell. About a year ago a really big one had fallen across the deck, where I was now sitting, and on to the house. I was thinking about how bad it was for those limbs to break like that. And then I remembered someone telling me that…. sometimes the limbs just fall off…. Pecan trees just do that.
My story about the broken places changed when I had more information. The broken limbs were not a “bad” thing after all. The tree was doing exactly what it was meant to do. I called it “bad” because, in my opinion, the limbs were falling in what I perceived to be the ‘wrong” places. I also thought that the places where they had broken didn’t look right.
The truth is that nothing about it was wrong. Limbs break off and fall from Pecan trees. The broken places are evidence that what needed to happen did in fact take place. They also serve as reminders that as long as the pecan tree is alive…there will be more breaking.
Things break…even people. Sometimes we see the places where breaks have occurred and it doesn’t look ‘right”. Sometime the broken pieces seem to have fallen in the ‘wrong” places.

Mom

Last night I looked at the face of my mom. Her eyes were closed. I don’t know if she knew I was there. I held her hand…touched her arm that is black and blue from so many tests. Her breathing was difficult even with the help of a breathing machine. She has fluid on her heart and lungs…kidneys are failing…pneumonia…leukemia.


I kept thinking this is my mom…I’ve seen her face countless times but tonight I am really seeing her face. I saw not just mom, but “Doris”, the lady everyone else has known for 79 years. I saw ‘Grandmother”, the beautiful centerpiece of several generations of children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. A shy country girl… humble almost to a fault…she has walked into and never really out of thousands of lives…and everyone of them, for at least once in their life felt love…genuine and unconditional.

Mom is like the Shepherd that David describes in the 23rd Psalm. She can be counted on… no matter the situation in life…no matter the dangers…even in the shadow of death…she has always prepared a table before us…even in the presence of those common enemies in life such as fear, anxiety, confusion, doubt, loneliness… at her table many cups have run over with the richness of her vibrant reflection of God…goodness and mercy have been ever-present…all the days of her life.

Mom has prepared her table for the lonely, the desperate, the victorious, the hurting, the joyful, the unloved, the much loved. Each one gets the same table…no distinction. Jesus is her friend…the reflection of Him in her life is unmistakable.