Stories

Sometimes people don’t misinterpret what you say…they just reinterpret what you said…they tell a story…about what was said or done or not done…and we people of the human race love our stories. They are not lies…not to the person telling the story anyway…they are just repeating the event in sort of a…parable…you know…like Jesus told parables…only…not really. We use stories to make us feel good…. to look good...to gain allies….Jesus stories were to illustrate truth.

There is this fear that people will not totally get how badly we have been wronged if we just repeat exactly what was said or done …. so we parableize...no that's not actually a word. Don’t get me wrong…we do have the facts to back our story…just not always in the best context… and we even add our “knowledge” of the real intent of what was said or done. We say things like “I just know”… as though we are truly mind and heart readers. And the problem with these stories is that they can bind us up...they can actually put our own life on a sort of pause......keep us ineffective until we let the story go.
Sometimes people have a story so fixed in their minds that even the facts, no matter how well presented, will not change what they are saying. They believe it…it’s a kind of faith…a substance or an evidence of things not seen.…only…not really
And we all know it’s not an easy thing to just up and decide to let go of a story we have been telling. After all , think of the personal adjustments we have had to make to keep the story alive and believable…and if we have told enough people...we have supporters…a sympathy team…believers…it would be hard to let them down now. And, not only that, but the sympathizers have been getting pretty juiced on the story themselves and have probably repeated it, with a few alterations and additions of their own.
The feelings associated with our stories are powerful and the entire process of storytelling has a tremendous emotional pay off…sympathy for sure, perhaps some superiority, and maybe even a little martyrdom. But stories...parables of partial truths...will not bring us what we are looking for…true peace….joy...lasting happiness…dreams fulfilled.
Its not that the event didn't happen to us or that the words were not spoken or that the deed was done or that something was not done. And it is certainly not that we were not hurt.  Its the story that we make up about it that is not a reliable reflection of what actually took place. We are not mind or heart readers. We don't really know why anyone does anything....but we make up great stories. And for many, holding on to their story is not serving them well in life. Play a bigger game...create a story thats worth living.
Free yourself...forgive...forget...end the story.

Snapshots

I was going through the line at Zoë’s Kitchen in Baton Rouge today when I saw a familiar face. I did one of those double takes and then I thought there is no way that could be him. But it was, Patrick Dempsey, better know as McDreamy, on the popular TV series. Grey’s Anatomy. I went over to talk to him…he was in shorts, a t-shirt, and had a little stubble…he smiled, shook my hand, and said "thank you so much" when I complimented his show.

It was the way he said thank you that I have remembered. It was as though it was the first time anyone had said that to him in awhile. But we know that he must hear it everyday. And yet, he still made the effort to make me feel like it really meant something to him…who knows maybe it still does....even after hearing it hundreds of times...One thing I know, if only for a split second, one that I am sure he has already forgotten…this mega media star, in the middle of a crowded restaurant, was totally present...with me.

Being present with people is a wonderful thing that gets lost when we are too self focused, too in need of attention for ourselves, and when we are simply not in the moment with the person right in front of us.

I don't know anything about Mr Dempsey. I don't know about his personal life. Nothing. I only have a short mental snapshot of him...and its a pretty good one. Sometimes that's all you get...just one shot to make a difference..to walk away from someone having made their day better. It made me wonder what snap shots I've been leaving lately.

Thanks Mr Dempsey

Sand Castles

Almost daily I listen as someone tells me how their life is incomplete…or worse…it’s falling apart. Peace and happiness have disappeared...again. As we talk I often discover that this is not the first time they have felt this way…it’s become a cycle. Often it is very obvious that there was no foundation to what they had established…they build and rebuild Sand Castles.

Sand Castles are amazing in beauty and easily crumble.

There is this amazing reoccurring situation where some people will do a lot of work putting together a life that looks great…they get into what looks like a great relationship, or finally land the right job… or maybe they manage to get the right house or the great car or maybe all of the above…everything that has the look of the really good life. As a matter of fact their life landscaping is so good it takes a really perceptive person to see that all this is happening without a proper foundation….then the winds of life began to blow…disappointment, unfulfilled expectations, sadness, betrayal, loss…the image they worked so hard to create begins to fade…the walls began to shake…the rain begins to fall…the sand begins to move… and the house begins to fall.

Sand Castles…are built for a moment of praise…not to withstand the coming storms.

With things or people…taking the time to do things the right way for the right reasons is never what we want to hear when we are in the “wanting” state…and we even know…deep down…that it is proven to bring a much better return. And, peace and happiness is not the same thing as feeling good today…they are the state of a mind and heart that has been cultivated and nurtured through the wanted and unwanted things of life. They are the sum of many decisions that required the rock solid foundational material of time, patience, endurance, and a trust that anything worth having in my life is probably not going to be attained quickly.

Sand castles…require hard work and a unique artistic ability…and although beautiful…they will not last.

There was a foolish man who built his house on the sand and when the rains came and the winds beat against that house his house fell. There was a wise man who built his house on a rock and when the rains came and the winds blew and beat against that house…that house stood.
Jesus

Dolly's Jolene by Lost2gether.mov

Be the Answer

Its good to search for answers...its noble to be an answer.
We say every day we are looking for an answer or waiting on an answer. And many times we are stalled in life while we look and wait for an answer. But what if today...instead of looking and waiting for answers you just decided to be one...to..be an answer. There are people everywhere looking for answers to some of life's most basic issues...Many are praying that God will send an answer...they are desperate...they really don't know what to do next...but you and I have a lot of power...we could be an answer today...for someone out of work...for a single mom...a person that has a lot of children and a limited income...the disabled...the homeless.
A few ideas...

Buy a sack of groceries
Pay the next light bill
Manicure a lawn
Replace a damaged front door
Give a prepaid gas card
Offer to pick up this months prescriptions
Give some tired parents a night out...$50 and baby sit the kids!
Get a cell phone...for a college kid that just can't afford it.
Buy a set of tires...
Send a family that could never afford it to Disney World.

Acts of completely unreasonable love.

There are literally thousands of people with these and many other similar situations. And they are looking for answers...right now...and right now these situations loom as impossibilities...they are praying for answers...so be one..give and don't look back...expect nothing...just seize the opportunity to be an answer!

Believe in the improbable
Be a part of the impossible

A Couple of Days in ER

This week I spent two days in the emergency room and the heart center at Our Lady of the Lake because of numbness in my left hand, arm, and face. The first was on Monday.They did all the heart test. On Friday I went for an MRI. I had to get medicated to stay in that tube. I am so claustrophobic. I then went back to the office fully drugged. I wanted to just lay down somewhere and sleep for a couple of hours but then I started having pains in my chest. My good employees did not ask they just got on the phone and the next thing I knew I was in an ambulance headed back to ER and then the heart center at Our Lady of the Lake.
After a couple of days of being tested with the most expensive equipment in the world and handled by the absolute most wonderful staff in the world…we still don’t know why my face and arm are numb and tingling but we are pretty sure its not my heart. I go back to the neurologist and the cardiologist next week to see if they can discover anything. The good news is that everyone is in the 90 percentile that it is not my heart. Could have been a mild stroke but they don’t think so.
I was amazed at how many people helped to take care of me. My two Internet coordinators sounded the warning when they didn’t like what they were seeing in me…my Internet director was the one that decided to make the call to emergency. My HR Manager jumped in and directed all my personal communication with the EMS, the Doctors, my family and friends.
The owner was there, with prayers, as they were rolling me out to place me in the ambulance. I saw many faces of concern and lips that moved saying “I am praying for you.” I think heaven was bombarded with prayers and His angels were all around me.I simply had to be okay.
The text and calls came all evening and one of our GMs made it to the hospital to check on me personally. One young man went and picked up my car, brought it to the hospital and brought my personal belongings to me. I am overwhelmed at the immediacy of the response.
I have no family here in Louisiana, they did arrive later, but I never felt alone for even one minute. Since I have been out of the hospital and back home several have offered to come and stay here or to take me to their homes.
I am so moved by the people I work with. Here is the truth. I work with amazing people and given the chance they proved amazing!
I am doing great and the Dr has released me with some meds and a diet plan but I am doing well and looking forward to getting back to work with this absolutely outstanding group of people. Thanks to everyone!

Thank God for Stupid People

I have three outstanding employees that came to me by way of stupid people. That is the best explanation I can come up with.
They are outstanding in work ethics, production, intelligence, people skills, and enthusiasm. Every day they accept the rapid changes in our work environment and are instantly in gear to find ways to make the change positive and profitable. Quite simply…they “Bring It” everyday.
What is really ironic is that all three of these outstanding young people came to me from the same company. One was literally fired. She excelled and moved up rapidly…more rapidly than any employee I can remember.
Starting in an entry level position, in less than 6 months, she became the Director of two departments because of her ability to lead, incredible sharpness, tremendous communication skills, the ability to multitask, and a drive for achievement that is second to none.
Another young lady that came to us from this same company found that she was going to be fired on a Monday so she chose to leave the Saturday before giving them another long weekend of her efforts. She not only became a top performer in her department in just two months but has a tremendously kind spirit that is infectious to all of us as well as her customers.
And finally the young man that was given poor performance reviews, at the same company, is a real people’s servant. He will do anything at anytime. Just ask. He is so intelligent that he not only became proficient in his position in record time but he became proficient in two positions at the same time.
Every day I walk into these departments and I can see their fingerprints on the work and the production and the attitudes of everyone they work with. They are setting record umbers and have the people in the offices convinced that Mondays are maybe even more fun days than Fridays.
So as I watch these rejects performing the improbable…I have to stop and thank God for the stupid people who somehow totally missed who they had working for them.
As we have talked I have found that they were amazed that at our company we said things like “Thank you” at the end of a hard day or that we gave them praise when they achieved something or in some way made a difference in our day. And they have also learned that performance reviews can be an upbeat positive leaning experience.
They have also found it pleasing that people say hi to them when they come into the front door. And then all through the building and all the way to their second floor office people are actually pleased to see them and they say so…everyday.
When I was promoted to my first management position in the automobile industry my General Manager pulled me aside and said this “You see all those people out there on the showroom floor and in those offices? Never believe that they work for you. Instead, you serve them, help them succeed, let them know you appreciate them and they will make you a lot of money.”
Thank you…great job…I appreciate what you accomplished today…thanks for the great attitude today…nice job with that customer…glad you’re here…glad you’re on our team…just not that hard to say.

Thank God for the Stupid People