Mom

Last night I looked at the face of my mom. Her eyes were closed. I don’t know if she knew I was there. I held her hand…touched her arm that is black and blue from so many tests. Her breathing was difficult even with the help of a breathing machine. She has fluid on her heart and lungs…kidneys are failing…pneumonia…leukemia.


I kept thinking this is my mom…I’ve seen her face countless times but tonight I am really seeing her face. I saw not just mom, but “Doris”, the lady everyone else has known for 79 years. I saw ‘Grandmother”, the beautiful centerpiece of several generations of children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. A shy country girl… humble almost to a fault…she has walked into and never really out of thousands of lives…and everyone of them, for at least once in their life felt love…genuine and unconditional.

Mom is like the Shepherd that David describes in the 23rd Psalm. She can be counted on… no matter the situation in life…no matter the dangers…even in the shadow of death…she has always prepared a table before us…even in the presence of those common enemies in life such as fear, anxiety, confusion, doubt, loneliness… at her table many cups have run over with the richness of her vibrant reflection of God…goodness and mercy have been ever-present…all the days of her life.

Mom has prepared her table for the lonely, the desperate, the victorious, the hurting, the joyful, the unloved, the much loved. Each one gets the same table…no distinction. Jesus is her friend…the reflection of Him in her life is unmistakable.

George's Tire Shop 1

I was driving along listening to Echhart Tolle's the Power of Now...very insightful....he had just said "Own each moment in your life as though you have chosen it"…He said doing this "would transform your life". I stopped the tape and was thinking about the implications of what he had said. Accept the good things and the bad things that occur every moment of my life just as it is...as though I had chosen it. I started running this over and over through my mind...this would remove the pain of most any unpleasant experience because the pain I feel emotionally is really only from how I am defining the moment. Everything I feel...good or bad...is not about what is actually happening but about the meaning I am applying to it...I repeated this several times...own every moment in my life as though I had chosen it....wanting it to really sink in.

It was about then that I decided to turn into a convenience store...I turned to quickly and hit the sharp edge of a very small curb...but it was like running into a wall...the tire exploded...before I could react my back wheel hit the same curb and there was a second explosion. I came to a stop in the parking lot...people all around were stopped in their tracks...and there I sit in the parking lot...my first thought was "own this moment as if you had chosen it"...my next thought was..."yeah, right"...and then I did.

George's Tire Shop 2

Normally, my wife and I enjoy driving through the part of town where I had just wiped out two tires. We love the Mexican culture...their love for color...the way they dress up their shops and restaurants as a complete reflection of who they are. I can't help but get hungry as I drive past a seemingly continuous flow of homemade tortillas and tortas and big signs advertising carne asada, fajitas, and tacos. Then there are the numerous small dress shops, jammed packed curio shops, uniquely mexican grocery stores and delicious looking bakeries.

On the curious side there is this fancy dress shop that is connected to a gas station. The owner has a Cinderella-like carriage in the front next to the street with a mannequin wearing a fancy dress...a headless mannequin...you gotta love it!

But tonight was different. I was stranded and it was going to be expensive to get my vehicle running again. I went back to what I had heard right before I ran into the curb. "Choose every moment, good or bad as though you had chosen it". I began to relax and take in the world around me. I started to really look around and take in the people...those working in the nearby stores, some women walking carrying bags of groceries...I enjoyed watching the low riders with their perfectly clean cars and booming bass speakers thump their way up and down the street. I would have missed this if I had stayed angry about messing up my vehicle. If I had not chosen the moment.

George's Tire Shop 3

We were preparing to leave my car in front of the convenience store where I had taken on the curb and lost. We were going to send someone for it in the morning when we noticed a used tire shop across the street. I would not have known it was a tire shop had it not been for the huge piles of old tires out front because none of the signs that I could see were in English. There was a guy working out in front so we drove over to ask about some tires. He was young and friendly. Another man, with long hair, walked out on the porch of this older home that at some point had become a business. He just stood there looking at Marsha who was sitting in her pretty red car waiting for me.  Because her car was still part way out in the busy street and he was concerned she was going to get hit, he had her pull all the way into his driveway. With that taken care of he smiled and came over to me. I told him about my car which was right across the street and asked if he could get some tires for it the next day. George's son asked  me to go get the size off the tires. George offered to walk with me. He looked around and said something about the undesirables in this neighborhood. He had a very strong face framed by long gray hair and  a pleasant voice. He had presence...the direct and cautious way he spoke and made eye contact was a little on the fierce side. I instantly felt that I was completely safe as long as this guy was with me. As we walked he said "I think its pretty obvious you are not from this neighborhood." I laughed nervously and said "No...no I'm not." He laughed...big. 

Seventy five dollars and about 45 minutes later they had repaired the rims, by beating them into submission...it was really quite amazing to me...they put on two used tires that were better than the ones I had on the car...and I had met two very interesting people that I would have never had an opportunity to meet.

George's Tire Shop 4

I had a great experience and learned some things about George while waiting for them to replace my tires. I was able to stand close by and watch. As a matter of fact if I moved away George would call me back to see whatever he was doing. Both George and his son were very proud of their work...and George was especially proud of how he reshaped my rims with a hammer. He told me he has been at this location fixing flats since he was 18 years old. During his senior year of high school he had worked for a mainline company fixing flats and doing minor repairs. After graduation George started fixing flats in this very location because, as he says, "back then the money was in tires".

30 years later George is still in the same location...fixing flats and selling used tires. I'm impressed with anyone who does anything for 30 years! I listened as he and his son joked back and forth and I was facinated by their skillful use of the tools...how they handled two customers at the same time and never missed a beat. He told me several jokes while he was working...I liked this one..."Sir, we are as honest as the day is long...have you noticed the days are getting shorter?"

I left Georges Tire Shop inspired. I had met a man who had served his community by fixing flats...changing tires...providing an inexpensive alternative for those who might not be able to purchase new tires today...and is passing on the craft to his son. He does it with a great sense of humor...down to earth conversation....and just plain hard work... my time with them was worth the experience of hitting that curb as well as the quick departure of seventy five dollars.

For My Friend Gloria

 About six weeks ago my job came to an end. It was one of those moments which many people have experienced. One minute you are an intricate part of a fascinating work in progress and in the next your not.  However, that was not the toughest part of the day for me. The most difficult part was sitting in my office with the head of HR...a collegue...and a friend...Gloria...we call her Glo. She had the undesirable duty of standing watch as I packed my office and then escorting me from the building to my car. This part was so unexpected and carried with it a humiliation I had never experienced. She ask if she could help me carry anything...I said "If you could just carry my pride out of here."

She did not say much while I packed...the room was heavy with mixed emotions. She mostly tried to smile and direct me in what I had to do. When I finished packing I just sat there...she allowed me a moment...I was thinking...this was a walk I do not want to make. Then she said softly "You ready, Rick?". I nodded, picked up several stuffed briefcases, and we walked...her eyes full of tears...a slight quiver in her lips...she managed a professional composure as we passed the curious faces. The hallway which isn't that long seemed to have no end...but it did...we stepped out into the warm sunlight and she walked me all the way to my car. She was awesome that day as she walked  me to a place in my life that I did not want to go.

Just a few months before, this same lady walked me to another place I didn't want to go... an ambulance. After the EMT's had strapped an oxygen mask on me I proceeded to tell them that I did not want to go. I was really foggy and couldn't figure out all that was going on. As they rolled me toward the ambulance I realized that Glo was speaking to me. Her voice was reassuring and allowed me to calm down a bit. I could not see everything that was going on. I can't remember much that was said but the sound of her voice let me know that somone was with me. I later thought I had heard her voice the entire ambulance ride. But they tell me she met us at the emergency room. I have no memory of what happend for several hours. But I remember hearing her talk to doctors and nurses...I was not alone.

I think God places people in our lives for specific reasons. Looking back I see where God may have allowed Glo in my life to help me take two walks. It is truly a beautiful thing to have someone who can walk you to places in life where you don't want to go.

Thanks Glo

Rescue me

I have a friend that was a Game Warden in California. He once told me how part of his job was to patrol the canals that run for many miles through the desert in the Imperial Valley. Many of the canals have concrete sides. One day he saw a small deer had slipped into the canal and could not climb up the slippery concrete. He got a rope out of his truck and proceeded to try and lasso the the desperate little deer. But every time he threw the lasso the deer would duck and move thinking his rescuer was trying to hurt him. The little animal was in panic mode and could not grasp the situation. My friend tried and tried until the little deer ducked for the last time and did not surface. It had run out of strength to peddle and simply could not keep its head above the water any longer. As it disappeared into the water, my friend sat down on the side of the canal and wept. He was not just thinking of the deer that had not understood what was going on as somone tried to rescue it but he thought of the thousands of people who resist their rescuers...parents, friends, family, concerned people... in panic mode they could not comprehend the love and help that was available...and ultimately they go under...drowned by one of the many tough issues of this life.

Should you look through the archives of my articles you will find one called...A little Heaven Today...where I wrote this line..."Dancing and drowning it all looks the same...struggle to get nowhere....it looks so insane". Many times someones dance looks a little crazy to us but so does someones efforts when they are desperately trying to survive. Instead of standing on the banks and criticising their efforts or the fact that they got themselves into this mess...instead of waiting until they have no strength left...instead of waiting until it all makes sense or trying to make sure they understand how they got into this...maybe with love in your heart, hope in your eyes and intention in your actions...and with no conditions...just throw a lasso...save somebody who is in their own clumsy way crying..."Please rescue me."
"What you have done for the least of these you have done for me."
                                                                                          Jesus