A Wedding...in Black and White

 The colors the Bride chose included a lot of deep red and blue…the crowd was black and white. It appeared odd to me when I first realized that the groom’s side of the sanctuary was mostly black and the bride’s side was mostly white. I became strangely uncomfortable. I would have felt better if we had not been so separated. I wanted to believe that America is just not like that anymore...that we are not so separate. But I don’t have to look very far into my own life to see that we still have long way to go.
The Bride had taken things into consideration when she planned the reception…she had assigned seating….Okay I just thought I was uncomfortable before and wanted things more mixed. Now I am about to sit down and try to enjoy the food and festivities with a bunch of people I don’t even know…they had to feel the same way when they realized the last empty seat at their table was for…well…me…but what happened was great conversation and an entertaining evening with some wonderful people and pretty soon I began to forget the black and whiteness of this crowd.
I remember sitting back and looking at all the tables and thinking this is what God had in mind all along…His children… “Red and yellow black and white they are precious in His sight Jesus loves the little children of the world”.
However, I know there were people in this group that never imagined a day where white and black men would socialize on an equal level. But tonight they would get to know each others families, serve each other drinks, hug each others children, and watch as two young people, whose brave stand and relentless love for each other, caused our uniquely black and white worlds to collide…things will never be the same…family gatherings will be different than anyone ever imagined. An opportunity has been given for new ways of thinking to emerge…for reason to take its place over inherited faulty logic…a new way of being is available.
I couldn’t help but laugh a little as I thought of the strain that some of the adults in this room must be feeling…while the children…both black and white…seemed unaffected…they just laughed and danced…they were at a wedding…yea…food and punch and dancing…yea… for them…the children…they did not have the moment of uncomfortableness I had…the contrast in color had not affected them…and hopefully… in their future…color will have less distinction…the uniting of color and spirits will be normal life for them…maybe…if we continue to work at it… our children and grandchildren can be free of the limiting power of prejudice. It has separated us for too long…caused us to miss out on the incredible beauty of different cultures…kept us from being our best as human beings.
Maybe…When Martin Luther King said “Free at last,..Free at last…thank God Almighty we are Free at last”…maybe…he meant everyone…both black and white.

Holding Hands With God

The receptionist was pretty...hair, makeup, jewelry, clothes…she had paid attention to detail…been very intentional about her choices… accomplished her goal…pretty.
Everyone has been there…could be any office anywhere…and all too often the pretty disappears when pretty turns to arrogance…maybe a raised eyebrow says you are bothering me…a certain look says you don’t belong here…a tone of voice says your not really welcome…arrogance…its not pretty on anyone.

However, that is not what happened to day. As I waited at her desk we began to talk… she told me how she is in nursing school…as she talked about this chosen mission in life… her eyes got even brighter…her smile genuine…her demeanor accepting…no arrogance…pleasant…comfortable…friendliness...is pretty on anyone.

Within just a few minutes of talking with her I was reminded of something…It’s not a matter of if you can be amazing today…it’s just a matter of if you will choose to be. She had chosen to be amazing and a couple of things she told me have been stirring around in my mind and challenging my heart.

She told how when she first got started on this mission that she was assigned to a nursing home and how one of her greatest fears was that she would have to “wipe the butt of an old man”. As soon as the words come out of her mouth I felt two things at once….the mental anguish of being that old man and the incredible gift that some people have to be able to do such a thing.

Then she smiled and began to describe how she fell in love with the elderly…how the old men would look at her with such helplessness in their eyes and say…”I have never had to have a woman bath me before.” Then in her reassuring and compassionate voice she would convince them that she was okay with this and that they were going to be okay.

I have not been able to stop thinking of these men…helpless in the hands of a young lady… proud men who had held their own new born children in strong and capable hands….men who had worked their entire lives to care for their families…men that could still remember what it felt like… to have moments of victory…to be admired…to have someone say that they were handsome…even beautiful…they remember doing hard things…things that mattered…they remember times in their life when they would wake up with such purpose…and now... they sit helpless in a chair while someone else baths them…spirits crushed…and then… with a voice that carries no arrogance…it has the lovely tone of caring…eyes that are bright and full of acceptance…the men hear that they are still okay…they just need a little help to day…that’s all…and she breathes dignity back into their spirit.

While she continued to tell me about her experiences…I noticed that her entire countenance softened as she remembered a special lady...one that she had come to love...who was living in that same home …the lady could not remember anyone from day to day…but anytime the lady spotted her...she would watch as the old tired face would break into a smile…then she would go to the elderly ladies room and sit by her bed...she would gently take the ladies little hand and hold it in hers….sometimes they talked… but many times…no words were spoken…they would just sit in silence...and just hold hands.

As she was telling me this…I took another good look at this attractive and immaculately dressed young lady…she had gone from pretty...to absolutely gorgeous in about ten minutes time…because…while arrogance looks good on no one…love in action is beyond description…there are no words.

The bible says that love conquers all things…with love being something we do and not something we say…this young lady was the love of God reaching out to those men who could no longer care for themselves…in the toughest moments of their lives…she was there…actively washing away their feelings of dread and insignificance.

And I believe it was the love of God…the light of God… in the young nurse in training that the elderly lady could see…she could not remember yesterday but she could see that light as it entered her room…the light pierced through the darkness that was closing in on her mind…and when she reached out her hand to this light…she found…warmth… peace…assurance…maybe even purpose…as she held the hand of God.

“I will never leave you or forsake you”
God

Hugging God

One busy day as I stopped at a McDonalds for lunch I saw that a homeless man was sitting at the entrance…as I approached the door he ask if I would give him some change…I said “No, but I will buy you lunch if you want?” To my surprise he jumped up from the ground and followed me into the completely packed out restaurant. I ask what he wanted and he said…in a voice that was just a little too loud… “I’ll just have whatever you’re having.” I placed our order and when it arrived I handed him his tray and turned to walk away…and then I heard him say “Aren’t you gonna eat with me?”

Now you have to understand this man had the smell of days old booze and urine. His long beard had a few things tucked in it. I did not look closely because I was afraid to actually figure out what was in there. And his breath traveled with a force of its own. But what could I say…if nothing else the entire restaurant, while I am sure they were wishing he would leave, seemed to go silent while awaiting my answer…I said “Well sure.”

We found a place and he began to talk…a little too loudly. He started telling me a story about his mother and how she had finally taken his guitar away from him…I could not surmise if he meant recently or if this was some incident from earlier in his life. He sort of rambled on with other stories…pretty much the same stories that you here from many people like this that have been lost in the shuffle of life…they once had it together…something happened…never could put things back together…and here they are.

Somewhere along the line I stopped trying to decide if he was telling the truth…I stopped trying to makes sense of his story…I stopped worrying about all the things he should be doing or not doing...he should get a job or he should stop drinking or he should at least get a bath...instead I managed to turn off all my "shoulds" and just listen.

He would look me right in the eyes as if we were old friends…like we had talked many times…I tried hard to stay with him in the conversation so I could nod or laugh or sigh appropriately. And since every time I tried to take a bite of my burger the smell of his breath would hit me in the face I became a good listener with nothing else to distract me.

After awhile I told him I had to go back to work…he looked disappointed…he thanked me for the lunch…I got up to go and in his little to loud voice he said…. “Hey” I turned and looked at him… and he asked “Can I ask you one more thing?” I said “Sure”. What followed would affect me for the rest of my life… he continued... “I know this is kinda weird…but…could...could you…give me a hug?” Now, at the height of lunch hour, there is a stunned silence in the restaurant…the place is still…it took a moment for my mind to absorb what he had just ask.. then, somewhat awkwardly, I reached down...put my arms around him...placed my face next to his...I forgot about the smell…the filth…what might be in his beard......he pulled me close...and held on….and on...it was a moment...one I cannot describe with words. Finally, as I pulled away I looked directly at him…tears were streaming down his face…running over his beard…he sat...almost helplessly in his chair...just looking up at me….and then he said this "You know…sometimes… I…I… need….I just need somebody to hug me.” And the world seem to stop.

As I think back on that day it occurs to me that I have never done anything more God-like in my entire life…I never saw that man again. Which was unusual because the homeless characters seem to stake out places for awhile….but this was different…that man was there more for me...not me for him... I had supernaturally stepped into the smell...the filth ...the confusion...and there...in a most unlikely moment...I hugged God.

Give and it will be given to you...
Jesus

God at Mardigras

I attended my first Mardigras last night. It defies a definitive description. It is the most complete party you have ever attended…with 300,000 to 400,000 people.
I have always seen little snapshots of the parades….but the number of days, the number of parades, the number of people involve to make it happen and the number attending…all escaped me.
I doubt seriously I could write anything about Mardigras that has not been written many times over. So I am not going to go there. Instead I want you to visit a few scenes that stuck with me.

Scene One
I was struck by a group of people that thought a good way to tell the world about the love of Jesus would be to show up on Bourbon Street and scream unintelligibly into a microphone. I can say that the tone was angry…not loving. The comments just did not seem like anything Jesus would say…as a matter of fact there is no record of him ever yelling into a crowd of people in the city. The only time, the one time ,that is recorded where he appeared to be genuinely angry was not at the people in the city…but at people in the church who had turned the temple into a market place instead of a house of prayer. That day was a defining moment for those that knew the truth and attended the temple but had severely missed the point of being there.

Scene Two
I saw another group that was gathered in huddles. They sang a song….then stretched out their hands toward everyone as they walked by and simply prayed. They prayed that the people passing by would get to know who Jesus could really be in their lives. Better… much better… but it was soon backing to speaking very ineffectively into a very loud and boisterous crowd.

Scene Three
A very pleasant and smiling young lady walking with her friends…she says a cheerful “Hi” to everyone. She congratulates the very cold and very tired faced people that had stayed along the parade line, in lawn chairs, for the entire freezing cold day and night. They had done this just so they could save a place for their families to get a great view of the next parade. When she greeted them, each cold face would break into a smile and they felt, if just for a moment, a sense of pride…someone had noticed their effort… then I watched as she stopped to speak to a man who was scrubbing the sidewalk in front of a business…she told him that he was doing a very good job…her smile breaks through the drudgery of his work day... although very brief…it was a moment of peace…you could feel it…my guess is that her words landed right in his heart and they stayed with him through his entire day.

I thought of a verse of scripture that perfectly fit what I was witnessing with this young lady “Where sin abounds…grace much more abounds”. No screaming, no judgment, no sarcasm, no criticisms…just a genuinely sweet spirit… smiles…encouraging words…love in action…grace in action…that’s the Jesus I know.

Final Scene
Next year…a Call to Action for those that want to change the world by sharing the love of God.

Show up in full force at Mardigras. ..And instead of using a microphone as a weapon…come bearing the fruits of the spirit…love, joy, peace, patience, kindness goodness, faithfulness gentleness, and self control…
And instead of misunderstood prayer huddles…come having already spent time in prayer for the safety and peace of all those attending…and try this:

If it’s cold…hand out hot chocolate and encouraging words…
The cups should say something like;

A Warm Welcome to Mardigras…You are loved more than chocolate!
John3:16

If it’s hot...hand out bottles of water and encouraging words…
The bottles could say something like;

Welcome to Mardigras…A free drink on us!
John7:37

“I was hungry and you fed me,
I was thirsty and you gave me a drink…”
“Whenever you did one of these things to someone…
You did it to me”
Jesus

God Forgets

“Just got a new life…but I can’t shake the old”
(Danny Painter and Meggie Wiggins)

Your sins are forgotten...I can’t even wrap my mind around that.

God said this to the children of Israel after a time of doing just about everything opposite of what He had taught, ask, and commanded them to do. "Forgotten"…when I read this recently, I kept saying it out loud over and over…forgotten…forgotten…forgotten. I know He forgives and have been taught my whole life that he forgets…he tosses my sins as far as the east is from the west…but really…forgotten?

I don’t know how that works because I am certainly not built that way. I have an ever present always running video in my brain that is always showing my life’s greatest stupid moments. All those things I wish I had never said…all those things I wish I had never done. After a lot of practice and determination I am better at not allowing that video to play…but forget…totally forget…not happening.

Gods’ ability to see me as whole and complete and pure is completely beyond me. He is not stuck in my past regardless of how ugly I or anyone else thinks it might be. That He has completely forgotten the sins that are haunting my memory is almost impossible for me to bring to a place of reality in my mind. But just like so many other things, when it comes to God, I don’t have to get it for it to be true.
I mean I don’t even understand some of the most basic things in life. For instance, I don’t understand how millions of cell phones can be sending signals to other cell phones all over the world at the same time. With all those voices traveling through the air; how come I don’t hear any of them? I don’t understand how the average teenager can play a video game online, text his true love on his cell phone, chat with other friends on his computer, listen to blaringly loud music on the same computer, and do his homework. But it happens everyday! I don’t get gravity, can’t comprehend the true size and depth of the Atlantic, or how my socks can still disappear when I am living alone! So how much more difficult the mysteries of God…the creator of the universe! But I know that God forgives and forgets…because He supplies me with just enough faith to know. Thankfully, complete comprehension of this is not a prerequisite. He just loves me and continues to allow me to live in this river of continual grace and forgiveness.

The crazy thing is that if I did forget everything then I would do some of those regrettable things again. I need some of that stuff to come up at the right times to keep me from repeating my own history. He allows these memories to become warning signs…in some instances warning billboards…to help keep me on the right track. So I am thankful for that. It’s the guilt thing that gets to me. When they hang heavy over my heart and tell me that I can do no better…that’s when I need the awareness of how God sees it. And the beauty is...He doesn’t. He forgot it…remember?

God is in the Mess

Life just keeps on rolling. There are many things I would like to make better. There are many things out of my control. There are many things I mess up all by myself. Every day there are things...good, bad, confusing...there are unanswerable questions and unending decisions...rewards reaped and consequences revealed. I never have to look far to see someone with a struggle that is much larger than mine and yet my stuff still seems big...everyday. Its just life...like waves coming ashore...unending...relentless. But living life is not about the waves...its about how you ride them.
I was reading the book of Job this morning. Job is a character in the Old Testament of the Bible who, through a series of disasters, lost everything he had, including all his children. I am always intrigued with how Job viewed God through all his troubles. I came up with this...Its not about how messy God allows my life to be...its about how I view God from the mess. Job continued to see God as faithful. He questioned what was going on...he wanted the suffering to stop...but his view of God "from the mess"...never changed.

Someone said there is no "answer" for life. There is just living life. And living life is hard. And if you are alive you are involved. We are all seeking answers...steps...principles...formulas...ways to make life better...ways to experience peace in the middle of this sometimes relentless storm. As its winds rip across our souls we seek to find shelter...we look hopefully for the green pastures that will satisfy our longings...we search diligently for the still waters that provide a place of rest for our struggling hearts and minds.

Jesus says simply "Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you". He keeps reminding me that no matter what happens...no matter my own inconsistencies...no matter the actions of others....just seek Him. It is amazing to me how interested He is in the smallest details of my life and yet he lets so many things go seemingly unattended. At these moments,when life is making no sense, when the answers I am getting are vague at best, like Job, I lean on what I do know.."lean not on your own understanding but in everything trust God" and "His grace is sufficient".
Sometimes day after day goes by and I see no improvement. It seems that God is not even involved . However, when I look back on the different segments of my life it's easy to see that how I viewed God in these tough moments....how I viewed Him in the mess, ultimately defines my relationship with Him.

Lou Holtz, the famous Notre Dame football coach, talks about "playing the field" you are given. Lets say your team has the ball and they drive all the way down the field to the one yard line just as time for the game expires. Had they been able to get one more yard they would have scored and won the game. Lou says you can wish your entire life that the field had been 99 yards instead of 100, but at the end of each day it will still be 100 yards long. We don't play football on a 99 yard field. If you want to play football in America...the field will be 100 yards long. Lou says you have to learn to play the game on the field you are given. Its the same in life. We were each given a field. Each has different obstacles and each of us has to learn how to negotiate the field we were given. We can wish all day that we had someone else's field or that ours was longer or shorter or wider or what ever. At the end of the day you will still have your field. Its not a matter of what your obstacles are or how the dimensions of your field have been set. It matters how you play your field and it is 100 yards...not 99.

Besides games are not really lost on the one yard line. That's just where you were when time ran out. That one yard could have been made on eight or ten other plays where someone could perhaps have given just a little more effort. Its all the plays and all the yards. They all count. You never know when you give up or slow down or don't do your best how that is going to show up when you are down on the one yard line and need one more play to win. It is very possible that the play you ran back on your own ten yard line turns out to be the run that would decide whether you win or lose the game.
So who God is to me is not determined by whatever crisis I happen to be in today. The crises actually reveals what I have been doing up until this time. And its how I see Him in the crises...in the mess... that determines my ultimate relationship with Him.

I am determined to hear the still small voice...to wait upon the Lord...to mount up with wings as an eagle...to be able to look back and see the footprints of God all around me and the fingerprints of God on my heart, my mind, and my soul.

Therefore, I will look for God today...in the middle of life's mess. Like Job, I will remember that above all things He is faithful and how I see Him today...right in the middle of life's stuff...is important. Its shaping my relationship with Him for the days to come and He is using today's mess to shape me...its important how I view Him...right now.